The best guide on the internet for ‘How to Make Friends in College’ created by a College Student.
I have been in the same spot as you. I am currently an undergraduate at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte and I had a total of 1 friend going to the same college as me. It was stressful and I was so worried I would not have the ‘college experience’ so many before me had described.
This is one of the main reasons I decided to start a blog in the first place, for incoming college students worried about the same stuff I was. First, I want you to know everyone is worried about not making friends, so you are not alone.
Before We Talk About Making Friends In College…
College is very stressful, not because of the academics but, of all of the changes. You are living by yourself, most of your loved ones are away, and finding who you are. As a college student, I want you to know you are doing great and will find friends soon.
Figure out what is holding you back. When I first joined college, I thought people would not want to be my friend cause I was boring. I love Netflix and writing (hence a blog lol). However, I now have great friends who love watching Netflix and reading my post. You will find them too.
How To Make Friends In College
Let Yourself Be Alone
This is probably my most controversial tip for making friends but I swear by it. Imagine you see a hot guy or girl and you want to ask them for their phone number but they are around a group of other people. Unless you are a very confident extrovert, you are not going up to them. However, if they were alone, you would be more comfortable and confident.
It is the same way with making friends. One of my best friends in college, I met because we were riding in the elevator alone (totally not because we didn’t want to take the stairs). But we were forced to talk to each other and turns out we were both looking for friends. This is where people say, “The rest is history.”
So I encourage you to go to more places alone and see it as a way of possible making a new friend.
Go Out When You Are Invited
I do not care if Annoying Sally invites you to a friend’s house, you go. When you go out with friends you end up meeting other people. Think about networking. To ‘network’ with people, you have to be present at events and talk to people.
This is the same. The only way to meet people is to be near people and the easiest way to do that is to go to events you are invited to.
Explore Your Campus
You are paying thousands of dollars a semester to go to a college. USE it to your advantage. Most campuses these days have hair solans, grocery stores, and many active places that students go to all the time. You can meet people by going to these common places. I recommend spending the first few days on campus exploring the campus and finding people that are looking for friends just like you.
If you are like me, that is the scariest thing in the world. You are probably thinking, “Alli you want me to go to places alone – but then talk to people!?” Yes, it is scary but think about it as networking.
When you network, you are looking at each interaction as an opportunity to add someone of value to your life. However, with making friends don’t be so professional; be honest, and most importantly be yourself. You do not want a friend who does not like you for you.
Master Small Talk
Mastering small talk can be a game changer in making friends (and helps your networking skills).
Small talk can help you make friends because that’s how friendships start. For instance, if you are getting food ask the person in front of you if they are in your class (even if they are not). Boom a conversation started and hopefully a friend was made. Or if you are in class, ask the person next to you, if they know how to do something. Just anything that can start a conversation. The first step to friendship is starting a conversation.
Utilize Social Media
We live in a day and age that can talk to thousands of people by using a device that more people have than cars. USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!
Reach out to people on Snapchat, Instagram, GroupMe, etc. You can talk to people in your class through GroupMe to meet up to study and then go from there.
3 Tips To Make Friends In College When You Are Shy
1. Pretend You Are Someone Else
I normally would not recommend being someone else but you have to talk to people to make friends. With this tip, don’t change everything about yourself, just heighten your abilities. For instance, imagine you are Kevin Hart and make some jokes at a party. Or imagine Kim Kardashian walking into a party alone, she would own it and look good while doing it.
2. Talk To The People Around You
You talk to so many people every day. Find a way to talk to one of them. Even if the conversation doesn’t go anywhere, there is hope in trying. You will not fail in every conversation and you will find someone you are comfortable with talking to.
3. Figure Out What You Are Afraid Of
Are you afraid of people judging you if you say something wrong? Or you will make something awkward? Is that why you are shy when meeting new people?
If any of what is listed above is true, try not to stress about it. EVERYONE in college is concerned about themselves and how they look, talk, and even walk. No one is going to care if you breathe too heavily because they are thinking about how they messed up talking with their crush.
Remember not everyone’s college experience is the same but make it yours <3
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